累.泪

今天，又发了脾气。。新年前夕被骂了一顿，年初三又来多一轮。。。有时，还真的受够了！
毫无情理的被骂，我真得无话可说。。。每次被你们骂，我真的不知道我做错了什么。。。
如果你不来惹我，你觉得我会发那么大的脾气吗？
对，或许我固执。。。可是，我说不要，就是不要。。。为什么要处处逼人？
我不知道。。每次刺痛的字儿从你的口中跑出来时。。我的眼泪，总是没意气地流下。。。弄湿了眼眶。。不管我多么的努力。。。我的眼泪，还是滑落了脸庞。。。
我总是在想，要是[姐]或[妹]酱做。。。你又会如何？ 你会像骂我一样，骂她们吗？
从来，我很尊敬你的。。。可是后来。。。。我总是觉得，偏心太多了。。。
每次失落的时候，我的脑袋就浮现你说的。。。
记得以前，小学有个老师告诉我。。。她说，她很丑。。家人都很讨厌她的。。。可是，拿到了好成绩。。她的家人疼她多了。。。所以，我们必须努力考到好成绩。。
当事实转向我时，我又想。。当我考不到好成绩时，你们说我没用。。。
当我考到好成绩时，你们说我拿 A 是垃圾。。。
怎样？ 我到底要怎样？
我从来不要求什么。。。没有。。。
我辛苦的求学中，没有支持。。。我想：考到好成绩。。或许我得到的，会比支持来得更多。。。
我努力学小提琴，被你们说拉得不好。。拉的当儿。。被你们说是很难听。。我不学了。。。
有时真得很累。。。这样也不行，那样也不行。。。
也连我的自由，都要被管。。。
或许今天，我说了我的心声。。。
还代表着，我还是在乎的。。。
可要是有一天。。。
你们所说的。。我再也不会流泪。。
我再也不会发脾气。。。
我想。。。那时的我，因为不想再伤到心灵。。。所以不想再管一切。。
也因为这样。。。你们的名字。。也在我的生活圈中。。。消失。。。

《朋友不拉我从高处，往下。。。
家人不再伤我的心灵。。。
我想。。。那已经是超过我的足够。。。
不要等到有一天。。
我真的不再管。。。
也代表我真的累了。。。
才知道。。
不是每句对不起。。。
都能换来没关系。。。》

p/s: 发泄完毕。。。XD 让你们受罪了。。。哈哈~
*谢谢[“妹”]噢！你的信息真的改变我的心情很多下下。。。XP*

The Most

well...my brain was just full of these words ' the most' ...still remember clearly that saturday , i sms wif my [kai mei] and we just talked about it...

'wat is the happiest thing that happen in ur life at this moment?' i asked...and that , my [kai mei] didn't feel that she has the most but she does has many happiness in life... well, when she asked me back...my mind was just the same...i do have many happy things...many..much or even uncountable...something tat make me smile..laugh..that consider as happy...but what about the most?

well , i try hard to think it...will i really find the most happy day in my life? but sadly..really no...or i should say...human don't feel their life as the most..do you?? as my brain think of happy thing and i was about to take it as The Most...but then , my heart start to say :" is that u take it as The Most? " or ..." u should deserve more..."

human is always being greedy...don't say u r not greedy ...when u get 98%..how u wish u can get 99% or even 100% ...or , u might satisfy after all...but u will just think how nice if that , how good is this....or i should say...if u ain't greedy at all..u are really a very very very good human...haha...

but anyway , this make me realise that we have to change...no matter how much we wish to deserve more and more...we should learn to satisfy ... be happy with what u have and of course...always talk about what you got...right? *anyway , as a human..we really hard to satisfy..haha*

what's wrong? because of we can't satisfy..so we keep on improve and make perfect right?? XD

《greedy is greedy..
can't satisfy mean can't satisfy..
what to do it just to work hard..
or just be happy of what u got...
please don becuz of don't have The Most in ur life..and start to feel unhappy..
cuz as a human ,we don't have The Most in our life...》

p/s: What You Got --- this song quite nice XD

HAPPY 牛 YEAR (^^)

The red festival is finally here !
hey you! wait for what?!
let's shout for happiness!
haha...

for all of you , no matter who r u ..as long as u r in...
i m here to wish u having a happy new year...

for family - let's shout XD
for PO ZIS - let's crazier than yesteryear ! stay pretty ^^
for friends - stay happy without any stress nor tension!
for kai siblings - let's stay in forever XD stay cute especially for my little only kai di and kai mei ^^
for old friends- i know u r missing me ..haha..happy new year XD
for relatives- where is my ang pau??
for teacher - please don't take homeworks = ang pau and as u give it so much =.= anyway , stay nice ^^
for everyone - HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! HUAT ARHHH~~~** XD

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

the leavin'...

yeppy^^
today is the last day of school before Chinese New Year...and so , my mood is super de duper high today...the homeworks were all left behind my mind..and guess i m really crazy..haha...my good feelings make me keep smile and laugh today...lol...
during recess , [po zis] still play together....a childish game but fun~
in the class , those boys at the back still singing chinese new year song to get high..haha..."happy new year to u , happy new year to u , happy new year to everyone~~~happy new year to u!!! =.=" they sing it as birthday's song..haha...

but yet , something pull me down today too..our class assistant monitor , Julie...is going to transfer after CNY....goin back to her school , Methodist...haizz...she is here for 3 weeks only...but the present of her , our class really enjoy it..

Julie is half Malaysian ..this is the one i know only...3 weeks time , not really enough for me to know her more deeply..but , the thing i know was , she is really a cute and adorable girl..she is kind of open and basically , she like everything..tat's why ..her face is always curling her lips into smile :)

her speaking is extremely brialliant...really...and she is very friendly..i love her smile very much..guess...no ones in our class can smile as sweet as she does...she is talented and she love music! tat 's the thing i wanna say..." i am going to take my piano exam on grade 8 this year..." " i must get a distinction for it ^^" ...omg...she is really putting many efforts in it ..how nice...
seems like , she is really pro in everything..sports- swimming...piano ...study....she is top 3 in the whole Malaysia pmr result too..

we use to speak with her in english of course..but she knw mandarin too...ishh...too much i really wanna say...she is really perfect XD because of her leaving , our class are so sad ..so before the school dismiss today , [kuan ming] get to borrow a camera frm teacher {thx ya ^^} and [woan] , [fei] and i draw something and our class write the last words for her...

she does appreciate what we had done.." i will really miss you guys a lot !! muackx muackx muackx !! " ...and she give all of us a huggies....the atmosphere at the moment was totally full of sad and yet, it is memorable....

《Julie ,i will miss you, althought..u might not actually know my name by this last moment..but i m sure , u will remember the days in 4 sc 1 ^^
good luck in your journey...
keep burning ur flame and get it bright in ur future..
i m sure , after years...
there will a road that make us meet again :) 》
+ forever assistant, forever friends , forever Julie in 4 sc 1...+

放弃了,我不会选错误的。。。

背着书包，脑海里的，就只有做不完的功课。。。刚刚的会议，得知了我是‘星光’的秘书，怕做不成。。。没法，我得尝试。。。发言时，我还是被害羞，冷漠了自己。。。习惯了。。。
耳边传来的，就只有操步队的口号令。。。望右边看，看到[巧盈]，[jie yu] ,[欣茹]和几位在操步，往左边看，只见st.john的，在忙着training...[octopus]还讲起了英文来。。。大家都开始认真了。。。

操步的脚步声，不停在耳边徘徊着。。。我爱听。。。因为，一起合拍的声音，真得很好听。。。有时，还真得很羡慕他们，那么地团结。。。我爱操步，但，我想从今都没机会了。。退出了那个所谓的团体，我想，那个永远不会是个错误。。。勾心斗角的， 称为团体，不会觉得不好意思吗？不管任何多的分数，我不会稀罕的。。。{st. john,真的好棒。。。:D}

昨天，我放弃了我爱的小提琴。。。老师并不知道，新年后的星期，我再也不会出现。。。最后一次的练习，总是让我觉得，退出是种错误。。。可是， "you are a weak player..."总让我觉得，我不适合了。。不够的练习时间。。。要掌握好，真的很难。。。老师给了我几本书，叫我拿去复印，新年后，教我。。口不敢说，我不需要了。。。因为其中，有我爱拉的音乐。。我想到时候，[弟]学鼓时，可以还给他。。。

这几天，风开始平息。。不再是狂风的。。。我，也开始慢慢的适应自己。。。form 4...每晚要睡的时间，是凌晨 12 am+++...功课赶不完。。。可是，我相信。。。我会进步。。。^^ 新年后的礼拜，会是忙的，报告要打，功课。。别说了。。。排球。。哈。。从来不是忙的一部分。。因为打排球，真的可以拿来疏解心中的压力。。。:) 补习也得开始。。。

《新年要到了。。
真得很不想在新年赶功课。。。
老师，难道你不可以给少一点？？ =.="
不管怎样。。。
我想，我都得做到。。
因为，我不可以选择。。做不到了。。。》

那年的糖果

今天,放学后,[妹]告诉我说,她遇到了[紫凌],一位我小学的朋友..
她说她高了,美了..可还是那么的 friendly..哈哈。。。
好久了。。我好久都没见到她了。。
[妹]提起了这事儿，我的脑袋马上回到了我们的那一年。。一个快乐的一年。。
那时，[晶]，[凌]，[仪]和我，在一个四方桌。。一同学习着数学。。
一同上着杨老师的补习。。。
虽然是六年级。。可是我们没压力。。。
每次提着疲惫的身躯去补习。。可我们还是那么得开心。。
还记得，每次补习后。。
大伙儿一同从下了楼下，而[凌]上楼回她家 （她家在杨老师家的楼上）
她冲出阳台，把她家的糖果都丢下了楼下。。。
我们三个，就像疯了一样，去捡那一粒一粒的糖果。。。
我们都疯了 XD
可是，我们都把累给抛远了。。。
而且，那些糖果，真得很好吃。。。:)
哎。。。[紫凌]，[伟晶]，还有其他的小学朋友。。。
你们好吗？？
我真的好想你们。。。
多久不见了。。。
可是，脑里有时不停地浮现你我的回忆。。。
大伙一同拥抱，一同学习，一同玩的时候。。。
我想。。。
我永远都忘不了。。。

《现在的好朋友或许比老朋友懂得更多。。
但是，老朋友始终在我的心里。。
扮演着最难忘的角色。。
因为，那年的糖果。。
真得很甜。。。》

the torturing life

well , it had been good days , i had not been updated my blog here...because of the torturing life..hustle and bustle life....essay , mt , add mt,novel, 5 nilams for next week..everyday, just having much and much,more and more homeworks taking home..no more playing times , no more blogging times...not even wanna chat nor talk...cause of the tiring...i wish not waste lots of my energy 0.o

haiz..the days just start off ...that those what i really thought..it really harder than that more..it really does..how i wish to take many times of form 3 periods but not even one of the form 4's...but people need to works up...so , just get up my efforts...

these days,i take kinda long nap after school...last time , i dont even need any nap or rest..and i can still play till the late of night..but now..the sleeping time just like the basic unit in my life..no sleep..i just like no more energy to continue my life T.T stupid homeworks!

cannot understand,misunderstand , misunderstood were what teacher told us...u cant concentrate every single words in class..just like u had been lost..and it really hard to catch 'em up...well..i agreed..even u read by urself , u might not understand..if u understand..may be u might misunderstand and yet misunderstood =.=" it is really hard..whenever i talked with my friends for just a second...when i listen to the class back..i have just need to ask "what teacher said har??" ish....thats why...i have to lost many energy in class ..poor thing * T.t somemore , that day 15th january...all of my family went out and have dinner to celebrate my mother's lovely birthday..because of the homeworks..and 5 babs of novel need to read..i have just rejected to go out with them...T.T tears really needa drops ..wuwuwuwWUWUWU....

《form 4 life is tough for me at this moment..
hope everythings will just save and sounds after chinese new year..
haha...
torturing life...please go go away !!
i wanna have a good sleep~~~》

p/s: my kai sibling just call me not to choose stress...is stress the 1 i can choose? but...when u think that u are stress...u are just choosing stress...so..let no stress in my life , and keep it perfectly done ..^^

special life

today , i went to a BM tuition..a memorable BM tuition..the class start at 3pm but mostly , many of them came abt 2.30pm + ..i reached there about 2.40pm , many people already in place...ish...kinda nervous when i step in..cause my jie said tat this teacher quite fierce..so , when i greeted teacher..i said "good morning , sir " =.=!!! omg..luckily the teacher seems didn't hear it cause kinda far i said it..quickly change..."good afternoon , sir"..he smile at me..phew XD

i used to sit with my friends who is [bi fang] and [mei yih]..we wait almost half an hour , then the teacher start his lesson..this is the first lesson , so some of them came the wrong time..while others didn't attend..he canceled out their names...

teacher sit on his chair..this is not an easy thing...sitting on his chair , for 24 years..for 24 years...he said he is sort of handicapped type..his hands , legs are keep becoming smaller and smaller..when he speak , his legs keep shaking..i think , that is because the blood is flowing hardly in every nerve..every..then , when he need to drink water , he need somebody to help..so , besides him, his students have to lend their hands , they really need...i see with my eyes..look with my heart...he start to speak to us with clear voice..every words i start to listen it..every single words..i am really respect him, n yet, i think , he will never think that he is an unuseful man.....
no..

he told us what we gonna learn in his lesson..what we have to obey of course..and many things..after teaching for something..he start to introduce himself..and he told us many many moral values..many..my friends and i were really touched for his words...but when everybody cool down emotions by his words , he started to joke woth us..

"what u want for ur life? it is in your hands..go do what is right..makes ur life different and special..with ur efforts..."

《i learned many things today..
but seems like i hardly type it out..
the words are in my heart..
i will fulfill my dreams..
like what teacher say..
i wanna my life ..be the special...》

the birthday candles,the wishes...

今天上了人家的部落格做客。。发现这文章蛮有意思，每次生日，在蛋糕上插着的蜡烛。。我们只懂得或是理所当然地把它吹了。。你知道。。为什么会有生日蜡烛吗？你知道生日蜡烛，要一口气吹完吗？？我可就不知了。。

为什么生日蜡烛要一口气吹灭？

这一习俗根据源于希腊。
在古希腊，人们都信奉月亮女神阿耳特弥斯。在她的一年 一度的生日庆典上，人们总要在祭坛上供放蜂蜜饼和很多点亮着的蜡烛形成一片神圣的气氛，以示他们对月亮女神的特殊的崇敬之情。后来，随着时间的推移，由于 疼爱孩子，古希腊人在庆祝他们的孩子的生日时，也总爱在餐桌上摆上糕饼等物，而在上面，又放上很多点亮的小蜡烛，并且加进一项新的活 动——吹灭这些燃亮的蜡烛。他们相信燃亮着的蜡烛具有神秘的力量，如果这时让过生日的孩子在心中许下一个愿望，然后一口气吹灭所 有蜡烛的话，那么这个孩子的美好愿望就一定能够实现。于是吹蜡烛成为生日宴上有着吉庆意义的小节目，以后逐渐地发展到不论是在孩子还是成人甚至老年人的生日晚会或宴会上都有吹蜡烛这个有趣的活动

《蜡烛是愿望。。。
但愿蜡烛能帮我实现我的愿望。。。》

p/s:生日还没到啦 =.="

My Life have Started...

Yesterday , was 5th January ..it is schooling day again and it means , our beloved or my beloved holidays were ended! T.T but going to school , not a bad thing too right? :) at least my chit-chat habit gonna happens again~ haha..joking , laughing, gossiping..^^

Once again , my school shoes step in the school..seeing those form 1 with parents in new uniforms and shoes..and of course , some new baggies ^^with nervous faces and worrying feeling..haha..i am passer by XD meet my friends , and we started our chatted topic again...haha..

Then , i meet [PO ZIS']..haha..none change except [qi]..haha..they said her hair like kena mouse bite XD..me too leh..but luckily , they don't really notice it..we laugh as loud as we can..as crazy as we can..as high as we can..omg? why so high ?! then , [qi] brought me a small bag and a ring..i am the last one who got those presents that she bought from Hong Kong..ish...

The first day of school , we already started feeling boring and yet tired..we not yet group into the class..and teacher keep bringing us from hall to the tennis court and keep on shifting to the canteen..so that form 1 and form 4 are avoided to be hited..OMG..form 4 ..all students in canteen...a SMALL AND HOT canteen..to listen the taklimat..sweat =.="

Pn. Noraini gave us what about BM in form 4 & 5..Madam Fang told us about English..well , Pn. T an Lee Cheng is the teacher who control those form 4 students..but i have to say , she is really poor in guiding us..her voice is small although by using the mic! we can't hear..* we have try our best to listen..but no voice ! haha..* hot weather..some of them keep talking..who wanna listen? omg..SPEAK LOUDER LA! haiyoO~Then , all of us given forms to write down whether which class would u like to study..science?account?....

Nah..That is the worst part after all..but nothing can better than we talks..haha..yesterday , we did joke a lot..really like a crazy student! omg..but, that is what call happy ^^ [qi] told us some cold joke..and that is really cold..when she talked finish..just the [miss orange-sin joo] know how to laugh..well others..got a cold..*a choo! XD* then , the [miss orange] started to talk about her cold joke too...know wat? she say the stuff when she were at pasar malam last time..u will never the stuff if u didnt listen it...so LAME!! HAHA..but hor ..she keep laughing..just she was laughing..* her laughter is quite loud..louder than Tan Lee Cheng's voice..XD* " The person who is eating 菜头糕' say ..wow..luckily he didn't put the si ham! " -her cold joke....u will never knw..haha..we still argue about her file summore *orange jie arh..that is pink la!!!~XD* "that is orange!" she yell....let u win lorh~ BLUEK XD

Today , we having the same activities..just those having straight or full As' students , have to take exam ..many of them wanna in SC 2 ..dunno why..include me..may be , we wish no stress as in SC 2..[cheau ying] , [wan sin] and [lin yuan] keep laughing during the exam...haha..cuz they wanna make wrongs answers..keep headache-ing whether they wanna wrong how much..OMG!~HAHA...i just do my test nia....if i can in SC1..really ntg can say..i simply do leh..it might have more students simplier than me and wrong more! ishh..but if i get into sc 2..i might happy too..haha..cuz lesser stress i m carrying..

《My Life have Started..
all were back to normal ..
all of us start to study..
learn something new..something we have to know..
all the best , my friends~
Good luck in all the new journey ^^》

p/s: OCTOPUS! finally we meet jor leh XD

Right Here Right Now

Mmm, yeah
Yeah yeah

Can you imagine?
What would happen?
If we could have any dream
I'd wish this moment
Was ours to own it
And that it would never leave
Then I would thank that star
That made our wish come true (come true) oh yeah
'Cause he knows that where you are
Is where I should be too

CHORUS:

Right here, right now
I’m looking at you and my heart loves the view
'Cause you mean everything

Right here, I promise you somehow
That tomorrow can wait for some other day to be (to be)
But right now there’s you and me

If this was forever what could be better?
We already proved it was
But in 2,123 hours A bend in the universe
Is Gonna make everything
In our whole world change (it’s our change, yeah)
And you know that where we are
Will never be the same oh no

CHORUS:
Right here, right now
I’m looking at you and my heart loves the view
Cause you mean everything

Right here, I promise you somehow
That tomorrow can wait for some other day to be (to be)
But right now there’s you and me

Oh we know its coming
And it’s coming fast
(As long when there’s you and me) (Oh yeah)
So let’s make every second last, make it last!

Right here, oh right now
Yeah, I’m looking at you and my heart loves the view
'Cause you mean everything


Right here, I promise you somehow
That tomorrow can wait for some other day to be (to be)
But right now there’s you and me
(you and me)

Ohh you and me

But right now there’s you and… me!

《This song very nice... ：）》

2oo9

this is 2009 ^^

a new year begin ,

a new life begin,

a new dream is coming ^^

p/s: woohoo...the air oso fresh and new man!! XD * too much imagination * =.=